During General Conference we have a very strict dress code. Michael was a little above the curve. He wanted both of the ties. It was a wonderful conference, even if I am a little late in posting about it.
Lately, I feel like Heavenly Father has really been listening to me. I am so grateful. I feel like he is aware of me. Last week I went to the temple. I have been worried about Michael lately. I kept obsessing about why his fontanels have not closed. They usually have by his age. So, naturally I am afraid he has a brain tumor that is growing (one of the reasons fontanels do not close on time), this is something that sometimes happens with people with Neurofibromatosis. I know that is not natural, I know that I am a worrier, it will most likely close in time. But, this scenario (the brain tumor - not the fontanels) is the one I have been afraid of since his initial diagnosis. I have been afraid I will lose him. That he will not survive. I was fasting about him and praying in the temple. I had the thought (one that I have heard and should know by now) that I needed to have faith, that faith is the absence of fear. And that Michael has a journey he needs to take, the reason he was sent to earth. And that whatever happens will be what Heavenly Father has planned for my Michael. And that I am blessed to be a part of this journey and that it will be filled with joy. I literally felt my fear be replaced with faith and joy. It was like a little ball of happiness inside me. So, who knows what is to come - I still have no idea if he has a long full life ahead of him or just another year. By the way, he seems to be really healthy right now. But, I know that Heavenly Father knows and is in charge and wants us to be happy.
The Diary of Anne Frank, the play that Jeremy directed at the University of Arizona closes this weekend. I went to see it with Lynne and we both thought it turned out really well. I was so proud of him and to see his name and picture next to the title of Director. It was a crazy time, but I think it was really good for him. Hopefully, another directing opportunity will come again. But I am grateful for now to be seeing more of him and for some of the stress to be relieved.
2 comments:
I understand. I waffle between fear and hope. No one can give me any ideas about Bella's life expectancy or prognosis either. She will get better or she will die. Great! (written as 3 nurses came running into the room because she was bradying - sigh). I'm glad Heavenly Father is with you. That is the biggest comfort. :) Love ya so!
love the pics, BTW! :)
You inspire me. Thank you for sharing. Your faith bolsters mine. I am thankful to know the Lord is so aware of each of us. He is certainly aware of you!
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